I gained so much weight while I was pregnant that one of my kind friends said it looked like I’d swallowed a turkey. And I’m short, 5′ 2”, so it didn’t spread out beautifully over the length of my figure. I was just huge. When I delivered my son, I left the hospital 36 pounds lighter than I walked in. Three years later I only weigh six pounds less than the day of his birth. I need to lose another 35 pounds to get back to my average adult weight, but it’s not budging.
Now, I have some mama buddies who have lost so much weight while breastfeeding, they are in sizes dating back to their high school years. Just to give you a context, I’m about to turn 39 and almost all of my mama friends are over 30, so high school weight is a big deal. This is not happening for me. I keep having the feeling that when my son is fully weaned, my body will let go of some of its reserves. I gained ten pounds, all in my chest, before any pregnancy test showed positive. I hadn’t started eating for two. When my body is pregnant, it just turns into a goddess figurine, round and so endowed my upper back hurts from carrying the weight around.
But this latest illness, a sinus infection and kidney infection at the same time, is a call from my body, not just to rest, but to make a radical change, a lose 35 pounds and get healthy change, and I don’t know how to do it.
I have tried making simple changes in my diet, cutting back cheese and butter, making creamy soup recipes with nonfat milk instead of whipping cream or half and half. I have tried cutting down portion sizes, but just feel hungry. For awhile, I managed to go to the gym at least three times a week. I was running, taking spin classes, drinking more water, and going to bed early enough to get eight hours of sleep. I didn’t lose half a pound. The only time in my adult life that I’ve ever lost a significant amount of weight was when I went on the South Beach Diet and took Herbalife supplements and drank crazy shakes for breakfast every morning–after I gained 30 pounds over the course of two miscarriages. I lost both babies before I was nine weeks pregnant, but I gained a ton of weight. And carrying the weight around was just a reminder that I didn’t have the babies. If I wasn’t going to get to be a mama yet, I at least didn’t want a matronly body.
Now, I’m a mama and I still don’t want this body. I’ve been reading about candida diets, the Body Ecology Diet, thinking about the maple/lemon juice/cayenne concoction that was my sole sustenance for a week as part of a body cleanse.
It’s not just vanity, though I sure would like to look at myself in a mirror again or not want to delete every photo of myself, I want to model exercise and healthy eating for my son so he won’t have the same food struggles I have or I watched both my mom and dad have.
So how do I make a major change in the way I eat and live? How do I change my relationship with food so it’s not a constant exercise in self-discipline or giving in to cravings? I was bulemic for years, can’t stand on a scale or count calories because all of the numbers turn me back into a weight-obsessed person who just needs to binge to feel better. So Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig aren’t it. My intutition tells me that getting over a sugar addiction by being on a diet that requires me to cut out most grains and fruit and eat a whole different set of food than the rest of my family (or our society, for that matter) isn’t the way to go. But these little adjustments aren’t cutting it.
How has mothering affected your body? Have you gotten your body back? If so, how did you do it?
Posted on December 14th, 2009 in 
Sonya. I weigh exactly what I weighed in highschool. I fluctuate a little here an there but never more than 10 pounds…at the moment I weigh about 105 and I’m 5’3″
I’ve had three kids the last two I gained fifty percent of my body weight. The youngest is now 12 years old so I’ve had a number of years to “get my body back” but the reality is I never really struggled at it….I did but not in the ways most people do. Here is how *I* do it. Without really working at it.
It’s a simple thing. Don’t over think it. Don’t obsess.
The absolute most important piece is to be MINDFUL of your food choices. You are vegetarian? For animal welfare reasons? If so do some more research about milk/dairy/eggs you may find yourself wanting to cut back in those areas.
When you think about what it is you are eating, what you are putting into your body then eating becomes something else…to you…it’s not an automatic munching thing. Its I’m getting my energy from this…what kind of energy is going to be best for me? That’s not to say don’t eat crap.ever … just be honest with yourself when you do.
As far as exercise goes. I don’t do much other than the usual running around with kids. I DO however try and make sure to move…I will park farther away from stores. Or just in general try and move more…not sit still so much (although I do sit around a lot this time of year – it’s cold LOL).
Well that is a long ramble…sorry. I know you enjoy reading….I would recommend “The Skinny Bitch Diet” — now normally I don’t recommend books I haven’t read (and I have NOT read that book) but everything I’ve read about it resonates with how I live my life in regards to food and exercise and it is very effective.
Posting tired so sorry for any typos/grammar/spelling f-ups.
Peace,
Kelly
I have almost reached my goal of losing 25 pounds in 2009, and I do have a few insights that might be helpful.
I went on a calorie-counting diet that predicted I could lose 1 pound a week. Well, it has taken all 52 weeks to lose 25 pounds. Because you gain some back again, and you stall sometimes, and sometimes you don’t follow your protocol so well. The most important thing is just to keep trying. It takes a really long time to give up habits like overeating from stress, or eating long after you’re full. I still do both those things sometimes, but I’ve noticed that it takes much less food to make me uncomfortably full than it used to. So even when I indulge, I don’t ever indulge as much as used to.
I don’t count calories that consistently, but I actually would recommend figuring out the calories contents of certain, frequently-ate foods, and putting together a few homemade meals that are about 500 calories (including drinks). Once you get a feel for what a smallish meal, calorie-wise, is like, you don’t have to obsess too much about the numbers.
I started throwing food out if I didn’t like it, which I used to hate to do. I was really embarrassed a couple of weeks ago because I bought a croissant and then threw it away after 2 bites. But it was a necessary thing to do–I’m not going to give up treats, but if I only eat things that *really* taste good to me, I eat a lot less. If I’d eaten the croissant I would have felt unsatisfied and probably still eating something else. I also feel embarrassed at restaurants when I don’t eat my food, but I’m getting better at it.
Finally, I turned myself into an exercise addict by making a rule to exercise 5 times a week. No matter how much I don’t want to, I can always do crunches and push-ups for 10 minutes, or take a walk for ten minutes. The more frequently I exercise, the more I want to do it. And I try not to make myself do things I don’t like–if I don’t feel like running, I walk. If I don’t feel like going outside, I do exercise videos on my computer.
I didn’t lose weight while breastfeeding either. I had a 10 lb residual that just sort of hung around, seemingly forever. I think that we all have different body types, so what works for some doesn’t work for others. Ultimately, the following was, I think, what worked for me. It wasn’t really until Ben was 3 that I felt like I got my body back. I got in shape – getting back in shape didn’t help me lose weight – in fact, I did like a year of getting back into running before I saw any weight loss – even though I was getting stronger and healthier. I think my metabolism took awhile to react to the changes. I also changed my diet a little. I’ve always eaten pretty healthy, but I realized that I’d hit another wall of metabolic rate and needed to cut back more. I started thinking of it as stuffing more veggies in than of cutting back. I eat a bag of veggies – carrots/etc… for lunch every day, before I eat anything else. I also eat another bag for a snack after work, then some whole grain carb before I go running. Whenever I was hungy, I would just eat more veggies. I think the veggies was a huge part of the shift for me – fruit is so high in sugar that it just increased my cravings for junk food. I still eat a lot of fruit, but didn’t increase it. I wish it was easier, but it took a lot of dedication for me and it’s still not easy to keep it off. Keep trying different things and don’t get discouraged. I really believe that exercise is key – even if you don’t find it working right away, over time, it will shift your metabolism. I don’t believe in any sort of diet that creates discomfort or cravings. I think you can find the right combination of foods that will keep you satisfied and actually help cut your cravings – give yourself a week and if your cravings haven’t slowed/lessened, you haven’t found the right mix. Good luck!
I’m not a good one for advice here, because my family’s genetics seem to create thin women who plump up later in life. So, I’m thin, but it will change as I enter my 40′s, I’m sure. Also, I’m breastfeeding my son who is allergic to wheat, milk, eggs, nuts, and sesame. It is actually difficult to get enough fat into our diet with those limitations. I didn’t just plan to comment to say I couldn’t help, though. I just thought I’d recommend another blog that I find funny and interesting, and also happens to address weight issues now and then. I have no idea if it will help in any way, but if not, hopefully you’ll at least find it an entertaining read: Pancake and French Fries (http://pancakesandfrenchfries.blogspot.com/).
Oops, this is her more current blog address: http://pancakesandfrenchfries.com/
I have no real advice Sonya as my pre-baby body is a distant memory. But for poor Mike’s sake, I had to chime in to discourage the return to the lemon juice/maple syrup starvation *ahem* I mean cleanse! I must have more vivid memories of that cleanse than you do, lol.
Wow, I could have written most of this post! We are the exact same height and have about the same amount of weight to lose. Committing to a diet does not work for me. I become anxious and dieting ends up being counter-productive. Saying I will completely give up on eating x does not work either. I decided about two months ago that I was going to start exercising and eating healthy for various reasons. I want to be healthy for my family and for myself. And, I will do my best to teach my daughter better eating habbits. I don’t want her tempted by Burger King every time she goes out. I still struggle with this! Pathetic, but it is what it is. What I am doing… Eat healthy all day, but I allow myself a yummy, not necessarily as healthy/low calory dinner. Or, I eat a healthy dinner and I allow myself dessert. I drink a cup of water every hour and a half, roughly. I get on the eliptical five days a week. I don’t drive due to being visually impaired and my husband and I are terrible about getting to the gym. So we opted to buy an eliptical. It was about $700 or $800. A fair bit of money, but our health is worth it. I recently came across nativeremedies.com. They sell products that claim to assist with weight loss efforts. Check out this link: http://www.nativeremedies.com/products/ecoslim-natural-weight-loss-support.html. I don’t know if it works or not. I want to try it, but I am still breastfeeding. Is your son still nursing? To conclude my lengthy “comment,” with my plan, I do not lose as much weight as people dieting, but there is no anxiety, so it is worth it. I have lost six pounds already. I hope something here helps you in some way. Good luck, momma!
I forgot to say that I make sure I eat something every three hours and I exercise for about 20 minutes. Lately, exercising has been hard because my daughter is sick and crancky, but my goal is five times a week. I decided I will always exercise Sat and Sun, when my husband is likely to be home. That way, I only need to worry about exercising three out of the five work days. Good luck!
Oh my sweet cousin, I am so sorry for your constant battle. I hate to say this, but genetics are not on your side. You are built like my Mom, your Dad and Ed. Thank goodness I am like skinny Herbie (except his old man belly). I gained 35-40lbs with both babies and it all came off within 2-6 months. The first one was much faster than the second. Breast feeding helped, but then again the second time around the last 8lbs came off after I was done nursing. Congratulations on lasting so long breast feeding. Good Job! I did walk everyday for about an hour. The dog liked that. Honestly, iIdon’t eat much. Most meals I just pick at stuff. I very rarly sit down and eat a meal. Over all I do eat healthy, low fat, no fast food and low sugar. Good luck and you should contact my Mom if you need information on Candida diets or any of the others for that matter. She has tried them all, but never stays with them.
Sorry that I’m not much help, but I hope you shed those unwanted pounds! Good Luck!
Love, Kathy